I Found My New Crush. Alex Morgan. USA Soccer.




How did I find this dame? Pretty short story actually. I was taking a shit 10 minutes ago and she popped up in last week's edition of Sports Illustrated. 21 year old grad from Cal. That's really all I needed to hear to have my heart stolen. I'm a pretty simple dude I guess. She's also one of the cutest girls I've seen in the past 72 hours. If I can still think about you after 3 days then you've done something and maybe, just maybe, we can have a conversation.

P.S. So does this mean I'm gonna watch any of the women's world cup? Nice try. I wouldn't watch that shit even if you threatened to skin my cat on live television while you slowly ripped off my toe nails and blasted Taylor Swift in my house for 54 straight days.

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